Not long ago, I overheard a woman say, “I feel like I have to be perfect all the time, or else, what will people think?” She whispered it while gently zipping me closed, as if confessing to a crime. But I know that feeling. Oh, how I know it. This is why, when I came across this quote from Epictetus, I paused:
“If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.”
Darling, can you imagine? Being seen as foolish, on purpose? I smiled. Because there’s nothing more elegant than being unbothered. We live in a world obsessed with opinions. But personal growth, real growth, often begins the moment we stop performing for approval. That’s the heart of self-worth, and the reason I believe in the power of a digital detox.
Not Every Opinion Deserves a Seat at Your Table
When I was younger (well, fresher from the atelier), I thought admiration meant success. The glances, the compliments, the photos taken just so. I basked in it. Until it wore me down. The truth is, needing to be admired all the time is exhausting. And worse, it’s distracting. You lose sight of what you want. You become a version of yourself shaped by what others expect. That’s when I stopped. Quietly. Elegantly. I stepped into rooms without trying to impress. I didn’t chase trends. I didn’t explain. And surprisingly, the silence felt like silk.
Improvement Isn’t Polished. It’s Messy and Marvelous
We often think growth must look graceful. But it doesn’t, love. Sometimes it looks like saying no when everyone says yes. Or not responding to criticism that was never meant to help. Sometimes, growth means being the only one in the room who sees the world differently. And when that happens? Be content to be misunderstood. To be whispered about. To be called foolish, while quietly becoming something extraordinary.
Simple Rituals to Stay Grounded in a Noisy World
Would you like to protect your peace and grow anyway? Here are a few of my tried-and-true tricks:
- Schedule silence. Daily. Even ten minutes without distractions will do wonders.
- Don’t defend every choice. Let elegance speak for itself.
- Check in with yourself before others. Ask, “Is this me, or just what’s expected of me?”
- Celebrate small wins privately. Some success needs no applause.
When You No Longer Need to Impress, You Begin to Evolve
Here’s the mystery, darling. When you let people think what they want, you gain something far more valuable than their approval, you gain clarity. I’ve been called too quiet, too classic, too different. And I say, lovely, thank you. Because as Epictetus reminded me, the only opinion that truly shapes your life is your own.
Stay fabulous!
